Everyday is the same shit.

It's just getting really old. I hate the way things are now. I used to be so happy. But now, I'm not. Not at all. And nobody even knows this.
I'm sick and tired of trying to hide the mess that I am. Tell me, where did I go wrong? What should I do? Why I'm here? Is that all I deserve? Is this what I'm worth?

I used to enjoy things. Now, it's just some things. Meaningless fucking things. I used to believe that I will sort it out. Then, I believed it would sort out by itself. Now although, I don't believe anything. I'm sitting here concious, that whatever I'm able to do won't change my life. It just won't change fucking anything. Life just is, life just passes. I'm freaking out.

Does it really need to be meaningless? What's the point of everything being pointless? Is it better to finally lose any hope? So much questions. And all I ever asked for is a person, who - with honesty - will just tell me a simple sentence: "It will be allright". IT - WILL - fucking - BE - ALL - RIGHT! Never asked for nothing more.

Always I do keep losing this little box of hope and safety. Always I do run on hope without foundation. Always I lose. I'm so close to say "fuck it" and giving up... It's impossible that it would hurt as much as this shit...